You would not understand, this is not how I am
Whoa boy, talk about life changes. My new baby girls are now just over a week old. That’s, count ‘em, THREE children under 3 years old. What a whirlwind. Lately I’ve been going back and forth between feeling ok to feeling hopelessly lost in a hurricane with no hope of ever seeing my life again. Yesterday I had a real life panic attack. I couldn’t breathe. I was hyperventilating. I feel trapped underneath the responsibility of all of this. “when will I get my life back?” I thought, with no end in sight.
That hasn’t changed totally, but like any challenge, what doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.
Remember this, me, should you read this again. “It isn’t as bad as it seems. You’ll get there. Just relax and do what you always do. Take a deep breath, put your head down, and push through. You’ll always win at life.”
Living the Dream.
I like to think I’m unique in my thoughts, that my challenges are mine to bear alone. But occasionally, I’m reminded how similar I am to others, if I just reach out a little to them. You’d think I would have learned that by now. Again.
Observation
It’s arresting how much fear drives my life. Why do I let it do it to me? I’m so much better and stronger than I let myself believe…
2013 resolution
You know I never made a new years resolution. Well here it is: I resolve to grumble less. Complaining isn’t helping anyone. Suck it up. The world doesn’t stop for you…
Insights
My interest and desire level to do a thing is exactly proportional to how over my head I’m feeling. I should think of ways of combatting that. It’s not helpful.
66000 miles an hour
“And life is pointless,
but what’s so wrong with that?”
Man the foo fighters fucking rock after all these years. Better than ever.
Digging my way out
All in all it’s just another day now
You’re falling down
What you gonna do
Standing on top of the world tonight
No ones looking back at you
Stand tall
It’s going on
It’s going on
It’s gonna be just fine
You’re holding on
Holding on today
